“Forever” by Haim

Watch the video here if you haven’t heard the song before.

I am the first to admit – this video is weird.  But!  I mean, they’re musicians, they’re three sisters, and I think this song may have been on one of their EPs, so the video is from before they became semi-popular.  But come on, who can’t relate to this song at some point in their lives?  Here’s the chorus:

Forever I try to make it right

Together we saw the end in sight

I’m tired of fighting the good fight

If you say the word, then I’ll say goodbye

Forever I see you and me

Forever I try for you and I

No, I never believed in their insight

Just another good reason to get it right

People want to fight for their relationships, even if it’s against the advice of people they know.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  Obviously, I’m not in that place anymore, but it still resonates with me.  What if this song had existed four years ago?  Would things have turned out differently?  Obviously, hindsight is 20/20.  So, let’s think about this.

First, I want to point out that I don’t know a single person besides me that knows of or likes Haim.  They are quirky.  I don’t think I would have ever heard of them if they hadn’t been the musical guest on the episode of Saturday Night Live that Josh Hutcherson hosted.[i]  They sort of remind me of a hippie version of Alanis Morissette, except three sister versions of her.  But I love them.  Their album Days Are Gone is pretty fantastic, in my opinion.  And while I couldn’t decide which song to talk about first, I decided that this one was probably the most relatable of all of their singles.

Back to the song.  Have you ever gotten to the point in a relationship where you’re tired of doing all the work?  You can see two endings to the scenario – an ending with you together, or a messy demise.  To me, this song is perfect.  I picture a girl saying these things to her guy (“I’m tired of fighting the good fight.  If you say the word, then I’ll say goodbye.”)  She’s also saying that she never listened to her friends, her family, she chose the guy over everything, which is her main reason for wanting to stick together – she wants to prove everyone wrong.  Now, there you have it.  The reason this song resonates with me like many other songs can’t and don’t.

I am stubborn like nobody’s business.  I can’t help it.  It’s in my blood.  There’s this funny billboard that I’ve seen pictures of online that says “Stubbornness will kill 1 in 6 men.”  And someone spray painted “No it won’t” underneath it.  Undoubtedly, someone in my family was the guy with the spray paint.  Which is fine!  It’s great to have convictions, and it’s even better to believe in yourself.  The problems arise when you believe in things that are doomed, like a bad relationship.

I’ve been there.  I’ve been that girl.  Granted, it was a little different, because the whole relationship was pretty passive aggressive in that neither of us ever told the other what was bothering us.  Bad news for any relationship, but especially a long-distance one.  But I was so sure.  I was so sure that that relationship was going to be the rest of my life that I didn’t even recognize that I was falling for someone else until someone pretty much slapped me in the face.  Life is funny that way.  I was so stubborn that I couldn’t even see that the end truly was in sight.

That sucked.  Everything sucks sometimes, really.  Being three or four years removed from all of this is very helpful, because now I can see it all for what it really was – a wake up call.  I needed to take a step back so I could figure out what I really wanted.  Two years later, that slapped me in the face too, in the form of a cute blond engineer with glasses whom I am so in love with that I can’t go five minutes without thinking about him.  Everything works out in the end.  But this song – it’s a reminder.  It’s a fishing line tugging me back to the person I used to be.  And when I look at her, at the me of the past, I just want to smile and tell her “you just wait.  There are better things coming.”

Haim is cool, guys.  Because, in my opinion, any song that can leave you with a story, or a memory, or any sort of feeling beyond “don’t listen to the words because they are disgusting, but the beat is cool” is something that everyone should be listening to.

Don't these three look like trouble.
Don’t these three look like trouble.


[i] Full disclosure – if you know anything about me, you know that I love me some JHutch.  Aside from the fact that he’s the best Peeta of any actor that I could ever imagine, he is a good person.  Want to know all the reasons I love Josh Hutcherson?  Tune back in on August 10th – he’s the focus of that entry, as a person who inspires me.


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