Bachelorette Season 11, Episode 3: The Tale of the Healer and the JJerk

So. Here’s the quick rundown, since this episode was such a snooze. I’m going with bullet points again.

  • Group date is first. There are too many guys right now for me to remember who was on it, and I’m not invested enough yet to care. They boxed with Laila Ali. Ben Z. won because he’s gigantic, and Jared got a concussion and went to the hospital. Ben Z. also got the group date rose.
  • Clint got the one-on-one date because he drew Charrison riding a triceratops. I agree, Kaitlyn. He got a rose.
  • The second group date was stand-up comedy with Amy Schumer. She’s fantastic. JJ was a complete ass and Tony the Healer isn’t funny. JJ got the rose anyway.
  • Kaitlyn sent Kupah home because he’s a tool-bag and expected her to come to him. Duuuuude. There are a million guys still there! Haven’t you ever heard the saying “you make your own luck?” Anyway, he got sent home.
  • But he didn’t leave before attempting to assault the behind-the-scenes people. How dare you, Kupah.
  • Then we were left with another freaking TO BE CONTINUED. I hate you, Bachelorette producers.

So. Pretty boring right up until the end, and then we didn’t even get to see anything.

But the real story here is between JJ and Tony the Healer.

Like I said before—Tony the Healer is not funny. He’s just not. He’s done too many drugs to be funny. (This is unconfirmed—just my own theory.) He just wants to live his hippy-dippy life with Kaitlyn… except Kaitlyn isn’t hippy-dippy. Britt is. But Kaitlyn is not. So. What is Tony still doing here? He’s taking these things too seriously. And, worst of all, he’s already letting JJ get to him.

I am hereby referring to JJ as JJerk. Because that’s what he is.

He even said that he was arrogant and cocky. And he also said that he’s divorced and lives in his parents’ basement. WITH HIS DAUGHTER. What a catch, amirite ladies??

😐

I just can’t even with him. But I completely trust Kaitlyn. I know that sounds stupid, but she’s so funny and rational. I believe in her in this process. She’s already shut down a guy who groped her and a guy who said that she’s hot and that’s why he wants to stay. She’s ballsy. And the Bachelorette needs that.

Anyway.

JJerk was getting under Tony the Healer’s skin, and it wasn’t in a funny way. It didn’t make for good TV. It just made them into hyper-exaggerated versions of themselves. Which, I understand, is the point of the editing on the show. It’s not supposed to be real.

But this time, it wasn’t even entertaining. Just painful.

My vote is that both Tony the Healer and JJerk go home on Monday! Who’s with me?!

-A.

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